Moving Out Moving On

    Your rights in a relationship:

If you are in a relationship, you must be treated with respect, which means your boyfriend or partner:

• is willing to compromise
• lets you feel comfortable being yourself
• is able to admit to being wrong
• tries to resolve conflict by talking honestly
• respects your feelings, your opinions and your friends
• accepts you saying no to things you don't want to do (like sex)
• accepts you changing your mind
• respects your wishes if you want to end the relationship

When someone loves you; you feel valued, respected and free to be yourself. You shouldn't be made to feel intimidated or controlled.

Think about your relationship - do you feel respected?   

  Email and computer safety:

If an abuser has access to your email account, he or she will be able to read your incoming and outgoing mail.

Even if you believe your account is secure, make sure you choose a password he or she will not be able to guess and change this password often.   Don’t use nicknames, middle names, or names of pets. Instead use a combination of letters and numbers in upper and lower case. A trick for devising a password is to use the first letter of each word in a song lyric and then add a number in the middle, i.e. “we all live in a yellow submarine” gives you—"waliays" and then add some numbers--wa73liay9s.  It sounds complicated, but once you type it a few times, you’ll know it by heart.

If you bank or pay bills online, change these passwords also.  Consider using the telephone instead of the computer to conduct your business activities.  Most companies and utilities will allow you to set up a password for phone transactions also.  This way your abuser can’t get access to your account and make changes.

Be wary of what is known as a “Phishing Scam”.  This type of scam uses official looking email from a company such as a bank, to try to trick you into giving out personal information.  Do not ever give personal information via email.  No legitimate bank or company will attempt to get personal information in this way.  These email messages can also be from your abuser attempting to obtain information.

If an abuser sends you threatening or harassing email messages, print them and save them as evidence of the abuse. These messages may constitute a Federal offense. For more information: contact your local States Attorney's Office, Attorney Generals Office, or a legal services agency for victims of violence in your area. 

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